There have been a few manuscripts across my desk this week, all in the very early stages of storytelling. So, I thought this weekend’s blog should focus on some biggies you can eliminate in your manuscript from the get-go, before passing your story on to a coach or an editor.
These “no-nos” are some of my pet peeves. I’ll cut to the chase:
- Be distrustful of the word it. It must be one of the most boring words in the history of language. Get rid of all its! Instead of “It rained,” use something more descriptive that may examine POV. For example: “Turns out, keeping clippings of my hair in red wine like Nonna swore would work didn’t stop the rain from soaking my birthday party after all.”
- Clichés. Please avoid phrases like “as quiet as a mouse,” “a tomb,” or “so quiet you could hear a pin drop.” We’ve all read those too many times. Instead, try something like “It was as quiet as snowfall at midnight.” Much more evocative.
- Changing POVs in the middle of a scene. For example: “Fascinated, John moved closer to the girl. He loved the way her hair glowed. It was like gold in the sunlight. He wanted to touch it. Mary wondered how close he would come.” That last sentence needs to change, as we’re suddenly in Mary’s head. If John is your protagonist, stay inside his head.
- Please don’t use the word just in your manuscripts. Just can go. It just isn’t good enough :) You’ll find that if you remove every just, your sentences are much stronger. While you’re at it, cut all uses of very, too.
If you’d like to share any comments or thoughts, I’d be happy to hear from you.
Email me directly at lisacliffordwriter@gmail.com.
Lisa